This summer we made a big change for Karson and took a chance to play with a different baseball team. As parents, you want to do the right thing for your children. Sometimes those answers are easy to find and sometimes they are a little bit harder. Change is always scary, the unknown is a hard thing to plan for, but we took a path and it led us in the right direction. I have often called Karson my "2nd Angel Baby" because he calmed my wounded heart in dealing with my loss of Easton. Karson was the BEST baby, hardly ever cried, took long naps and was the sweetest boy. At night, I would rock him in the chair and let the tears fall freely down my face, because I felt so lucky to have something to hold in my arms, but also felt an emptiness inside and the loss of my first son. As Karson grew we knew he would love sports, he wanted any type of ball he could get his hands on. Karson also grew into a genuinely kind, caring, soft-hearted kid. He thinks of others and constantly tries to do the right thing.
Karson came home from school last week, and he had the " look" on his face, you know the look of you are holding in tears. I walked up and gave him a hug and he just started crying. I asked him what was wrong, well that day he had gotten dressed in the dark, and didn't realize his pants were on backwards. ( They are athletic pants, black, so it's easy to not notice) He was at athletics at his school and they were picking teams, one kid from his class said really loudly in front of everyone, " We don't want backwards pants on our team." Then later that day, kids in his class said to him" I am so glad you don't have that job anymore for our class, because you spell everyone names wrong all the time" Yes these are little things, but to Karson he takes them to heart, and feels so badly about himself. I told him to brush it off and that kids just say stupid things sometimes, and one day it won't matter to you what others think, because you will have worked hard for things you want, and you will stay a good person.
I told him I wanted to read him something to remind him that it doesn't matter what other kids say or think about him....back to the baseball, in November we went to St George for a baseball tournament. Karson's new team had practiced a few times together but that was it. So we all weren't sure what to expect. The first day they lost 4-3 and 12-11. Two very close games. The team struggled with hitting and confidence. Saturday was a gorgeous day and they won their first game 18-9, their 2nd game and Karson had the best game he ever played. There is an app called Game Changer and you can look at stats, follow games etc. After the game, we read Karson what Game Changer had summarized the game with.
" Two pitchers joined forces to throw a no-hitter for Rizers 8U in an 18-0 victory in 4 innings over the Utah County Vipers on Saturday. Karson brought the heat against the Utah Country Vipers during his outing. Karson held the Vipers hit less over 3 innings, allowed no earned runs, walked none and struck out 8. Karson showed his talents on both sides of the diamond with a strong game on the rubber and at the plate. Karson racked up 4 RBI's on 2 hits for Rizers, He singled in the 2nd inning and had a home run in he 3rd inning"
As parents I think we like to brag and talk about our kids accomplishments, because we see the tears, sweat, pain, joy, happiness everything they throw into their talents and it amazes us. Karson struggles with Severs Disease in his feet. After a basketball game he can barely walk because his heels and ankles are sore to the touch. You would never know it while he is out on the court or on the baseball field. He fights through the pain and gives his teammates, coaches and himself the best he can. Although being a mom can be so overwhelming, frightening, nerve wracking and frustrating at times, I am so thankful to God for putting his trust in me in allowing me to raise my children. I love you my Karson Maddux, don't let anyone ever make you feel less than what you are, and what you are, is amazing.